The South: Home of the World's Ugliest Snowmen

This past weekend we experienced what is likely our sole snowfall of the season, as anemic and ephemeral as it may have been. Yet in yards across the city, snow-starved residents sought to fulfill their wintry duty and construct snowmen. These poor figures end up flecked with bits of grass and pinestraw, looking hairy or diseased, as a result of our desperation for building materials. It's as if we feel compelled to participate in this tradition, even though the products of our hard work are not the most aesthetically pleasing anthropomorphic sculptures. What's more, most of us document our brief opportunity for cold-weather exploits (attempting to sled down pale green hills dotted with patches of white, etc.) in photographs online. "Look, cousin Joe in Michigan! We had winter yesterday!" How I long for pure white bluffs, fluffy flakes that crunch as you trudge through them and pack them into delicate spherical snowballs. The winter blues can be allayed by a beautiful blizzard that leaves behind spotless fields of snow. What we got on Saturday, however, just leaves you looking forward to spring.