Golden Moon Hotel & Casino Sucks

Several weeks ago I heard a radio spot for a place called Golden Moon Hotel & Casino. It consisted of a conversation between two men discussing their plans to visit said casino, using expressions that reeked of douchebagginess (sample line of dialog: “Blonde, brunette, it doesn’t matter!”). Their conversation made me, as a copywriter, a man, and a human being, want to drive my car into a wall. They sounded like parodies of douchebags, only they were completely serious. The phrase that made me wince most, however, was “You know,” said by both characters with different intonation. It seemed like the copywriters were desperately trying to hint at debauchery, but couldn’t figure out some creative way to do so. Little did I know these two empty words were the crux of Golden Moon’s advertising strategy.

Last week the casino rolled out print ads and billboards featuring the abominable phrase, along with a picture of a semi-attractive woman emerging from a swimming pool. Beneath the photo, the despised words. WHAT DO THEY MEAN? What am I alleged to know? Because I most certainly DO NOT KNOW.

The second ad is equally awful, but for altogether different reasons. The headline makes no sense, unless you understand the pun on “moon.” It is also set lazily in all caps with a pointless drop shadow. The body copy is full of empty words and clichéd phrases. Then there’s the mammoth (boring) logo. Complete ad fail.

Golden Moon Hotel & Casino, I’m sorry, but I hate you.