Hoping to Beta Test New Facebook Answers Product

Yesterday I applied to be a beta tester for Facebook's new project, which allows members to answer questions submitted by others (similar to the start-up Quora, founded by early Facebook employee Adam D'Angelo). To apply, I had to submit a "provocative" question and answer. Here was what I wrote:

Is there a place for religion in modern society?

In short, yes.

Religion has proven itself remarkably resilient, rivaling only our capacity for speech in terms of its presence and impact on human civilization. And although I myself am not a religious person, I confidently believe this deep-rooted institution will continue to evolve with society, playing whatever role is necessary to survive.

In his book The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins coined the term "meme" to describe certain inherited human beliefs and behaviors, such as religion. [In the contemporary vernacular, a meme is a popular (viral) concept or catchphrase that spreads via the internet.] Dawkins goes on to compare genes to "memes," saying that as the former influence biological evolution, so too does the latter influence cultural evolution.

As long as there is mystery and misery in the world, people will continue to turn to religion for answers and comfort. Bioethics, artificial intelligence, and other emerging sciences will provide new arenas for the application of moral/religious analysis, and for this reason I foresee the future of religion being long indeed.

For further information, I recommend the following Wikipedia articles:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_gene
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_of_the_gaps
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme Keep reading...

How to Solve America's Obesity Problem

Simple: Ban free bottomless tortilla chips at Mexican restaurants.

I'm only half kidding. Those chips--always the same fried yellow triangles, whether you're in Atlanta or Olympia--are the single biggest threat to American diets today. In the kitchens of "Mexican" restaurants across the country, tortilla chips are stored in huge trash cans (seriously), and dispatched in heaping piles to new tables as soon as they're seated. Before water or waiter, there is a mound of crispy, greasy, addictive chips begging to be devoured. These chips contain hundreds of calories and plenty of stealth fat, all consumed before even touching the meal one has paid for.

No matter what size the party is, the portion is the same. That means a table of two will share the equivalent of over half a bag of store-bought chips, except the ones they serve in a restaurant are even less nutritious. Many grocery store chips these days have added whole grains and fiber, and may even be baked. Restaurant chips, however, are merely fried corn pulp, produced in massive quantities by factories probably working around the clock to sate our appetite for endless chips.

America was the first, and may remain the only, country to "enjoy" this perk in its Mexican establishments. Do real Mexicans nomnomnom on infinite chips with every meal? Of course not! They're too busy eating delicious tacos, flautas, gorditas, and other incredible authentic dishes to bother with silly chips. Other restaurants that offer complimentary preprandial snacks typically provide a basket of bread slices, and perhaps some pats of butter. This is a much more effective and healthy choice, as it satisfies the pre-meal borborygmus (my apologies for the two 50-cent words--I owe you a dollar) without being dangerously addictive.

Some governments--most notably that of New York City--have attempted to curb obesity by requiring restaurants to post calorie counts for the items on their menu. This has proven surprisingly ineffective, as pointed out in a recent Op-Ed in the New York Times. If people cannot be counted on to eat their tortilla chips with discipline, a limit should be imposed. Something akin to lashing Odysseus to the mast of his ship--a voluntary restriction of chip intake via some sort of emergency button to prevent continuous refills.

Obesity is probably the most serious and costly health issue facing America today. Many fatal diseases--too many to list--have been tied to this relatively preventable condition. So let's all agree to take an easy step towards dietary health, and say adios to the bottomless chip basket. Keep reading...

Babies Are Funny

We are in a Golden Age of baby-based humor. The mere appearance of baby is enough to elicit a smile from all but the most cold-hearted of adults, so put a baby on screen and you’re halfway to a laugh. Babies are wide-eyed innocents, perfect patsies for our childish pranks and perversions.

Perhaps the epitome of the current enthusiasm for exploiting infants for laughs can be found in The Hangover, the number one movie at the box office for two weeks running.
Although I generally found the movie unfunny and unimaginative, the scene in which Zach Galafianakis manipulates the baby’s arm to suggest a certain private male act had me cracking up even after leaving the theater. This juxtaposition of complete innocence and crude vulgarity is a recipe for comedy gold.

For a more toned down version of this, refer to the famous “E-Trade Baby” commercials, which first aired during the Super Bowl. Few commercials are as widely liked as those featuring this savvy toddler, with the slurred, nasal voice of a 30-something hipster. Again, combining the baby’s natural movements and expressions with sharp, sophisticated dialogue ¬has very humorous results.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Beyond Hollywood and Madison Avenue, on the unlimited expanses of the internet, one finds countless examples of cute babies turned into comedic showpieces. The #4 most-viewed video ever on You-Tube is Charlie Bit My Finger, featuring two brothers, one of whom, you guessed it, bites the other. There are also several popular videos of babies laughing. Hahaha is #11 all-time, and The Evil Look and its many copies have tens of millions of views. Another, “Blood,” shows a concerned toddler pointing out blood to his parents, and growing increasingly frustrated with their unexpected reaction.

Anther popular internet meme is the Funny Photoshopped Baby Face, which is simple a picture of an evil-looking baby who has been digitally given all sorts of costumes, from Hitler to Shrek.

Parents have always been entertained by their adorable offspring, but it is only recently they have gotten the chance to share these moments with the world. As long as they remain cute and helpless, babies will continue to be playthings for grown-ups. I only hope that people do not abuse their power, but allow society’s only unadulterated members to enjoy their precious pre-conscious years in peace. Keep reading...

The Allure of the Airport

Looking at the sprawling spiderweb that connects the world’s airports, I often imagine myself as a tiny dot on one of those arcing lines, slowly traversing the distance between two larger dots, which incredibly represent entire cities full of tiny dots like me. I dream of spending my life moving from point to point on the map, discovering what makes each of those identical dots different.

The feeling I get when entering the airport is probably comparable to the feeling a beer lover might get if he walked into a bar with all the world’s brews on tap. For an airport is possibility, and possibility is intoxicating. As I walk by the gates I observe where each one is heading. Get on this plane, go to Bali. Get on that one, go to Bogota. Then step out into a new day— one with warmer air, brighter colors, and surrounded by sea of strange tongues. The prospect of so easily exchanging one environment for another is enormously appealing to me; just three hours separate London fog from the Spanish sun.

An airport is a modern-day harbor, constantly buzzing with activity, as travelers arrive and depart, and thousands of bags criscross unseen conveyor belts on their way to a final destination. People from across the world convene at these amazingly intricate nodes, bringing with them their hometown newspapers, fashions, and foods. So many people, so many stories, so many reasons for their fleeting presence in this window to the world. Keep reading...

I kind of like paying taxes...

This week, like a hundred million other Americans, I paid my taxes. Though I’m still in school, 2008 was my most profitable year to date, and this relatively substantial income was reflected in the amount of taxes I owed.

My mother, who happens to work in an accounting office, encouraged me to think of anything I could write off as a “business expense,” which can be proportionally deducted from my tax return.

I worked part of the year as an independent contractor, and was paid on a 1099. This allowed me to write off all my mileage driving to and from work, which made a surprisingly significant difference to the bottom line. I also worked as a waiter for several months, so I wrote off the uniform I bought and alcohol-education course I had to take for that job.

Such tactics are commonplace in the world of accounting; indeed, clients expect their accountants to not only fill out their tax returns, but to exploit as many loopholes and clever accounting techniques as possible to minimize their check to the government.

As a rational actor in a capitalist economy, I should fully support this tactic. A smaller check to Uncle Sam means more money in my pocket. Yet as a naïve and idealistic young man, I wonder about the legitimacy and justness of so easily knocking down what I owe.

Yes, my claims are real, and they would certainly hold up in an audit. But if it is so easy to find a way out of one’s tax obligations, how will our economy ever emerge from the staggering debt that it currently faces? If anyone who can afford an accountant can shake off 30-50% of his original amount, as I was able to, how can our government continue to function?

Tax rates today are already far lower than they were in the pre-Reaganian days. From 1936 to 1980, those in the highest tax bracket had a top marginal tax rate of at least 70% (meaning they owed 70% of their income above a given number), compared to less than 40% today.

It’s not that I strive to live like an ascetic monk, and give up all my material earnings and possessions. But I struggle to comprehend how a country can continue to provide for its neediest citizens, as well as prepare for the future, when the amount it collects in taxes is determined by millions of shrewd, self-interested actors, and therefore utterly insufficient.
Keep reading...

The Roller Coaster That is Sports Stardom

Walking through the mall a few weeks ago, I saw that a group of football players from my (SEC) alma mater were signing autographs outside one of the department stores. I had had a class with one of them, and decided to stop by and say hi since I hadn’t seen him in a while.

He sat at a table with four other former Division I stars, all dressed in their jerseys and looking as strong and fit as ever. Several of them had been drafted in late rounds by NFL teams, but none of them had managed to make the final cut. When I asked my friend what he was up to, he told me he was living at home and looking for a job.

This confession startled me, but also brought me to an important realization. This football star, a big man on campus only 18 months ago, and briefly a member of an NFL team, was now in (nearly) the same situation I was. (I have a job.)

I realized there must be thousands of Tonys out there, athletes on the brink of making it big, but who fall just short. Athletes who excel in competitive NCAA Division I sports, but are not quite good enough to get paid to play. It must be incredibly crushing to the self-esteem of an athlete who has dominated for so long to be so close to his lifelong dream, and yet unable to go all the way. To be in the top .01% of one’s sport, but due to a bad combine or an inopportune slump failing to get that million-dollar contract that the guy next to you gets.

Many of these millions of near-pro athletes find themselves returning to regular life without having developed other vocational skills, devoting themselves in college instead to their athletic career. Furthermore, they likely suffer to some degree from depression, haunted by what-ifs and denial. To be thisclose to stardom, mansions, Ferraris, and rings and then a week later be living with Mom is not an easy situation to come to terms with.

There’s not much I can do to help console them, as I am incapable of fully empathizing with them, but I feel the NCAA must do what it can to reach out to those who dedicated themselves to collegiate athletics, with the dream of playing professionally, only to find themselves just shy of that goal. Hopefully the NCAA already does this—tries to help its graduates find work and fulfillment—for their success outside of athletics is crucial to our success as a sports-loving society.
Keep reading...

WTF Underwear

Have you ever bought a pair of underwear and thought to yourself, "Dang, these underwear would be perfect, if only they had a pocket for my iPod!" Well, to all you modern-day Joel Goodsens out there, you're in luck. Play Underwear offers something called the "iBoxer," an MP3 compatible pair of boxer briefs for men and women. I know companies feel the need to make everything "wired," but isn't this taking it a little far? It almost seems like a product there would be a fake commercial for on SNL... Keep reading...

Parsimony: Smart, not Semitic

As a member of a group with many entrenched stereotypes associated with it, I must always be on my guard, trying to ensure my actions aren’t confirming these potentially-pejorative beliefs, thus propagating them and reflecting negatively on the community to which I belong.


You see, I am Jewish. I’m not a religious person, but I am Jewish in the cultural sense (a refrain you’ll commonly hear among many modern Jews). The company I keep, however, aside from my family, is not Jewish. What’s more, I’ve been in many situations over the years in which I was actually the first Jewish person someone had ever met. Do I want to be their archetype for a Jewish person? Not at all. I am an individual like anyone else, and the decisions I make should not color someone’s perceptions of an entire population. Nonetheless, they do.

If I decline to buy a shirt because it’s not on sale? Jewish. Use coupons when eating out or going to the grocery store? Very Jewish. Pick up a coin on the ground? Jewish! Always order water at a restaurant instead of a drink? Totally Jewish. Now whenever I am in a situation that involves money, my brain does some automatic calculations to determine the consequences of my choices on others’ opinions of Jews.

Perhaps a quick summary of my financial situation will serve to illustrate another reason, beyond my religio-cultural upbringing, that influences my buying habits: Working for $12/hr, attending a school that costs me about $3000 per quarter, and sitting on a 40% loss in the value of my savings due to the stock market (I know, I know. Only a 23-year old Jew would have money in the stock market.) In short, I am not rich. It makes perfect financial sense to save money where I can. In a gentile’s shoes I am being frugal, which is an admirable quality in Christian theology. But as a Jew I am looked down upon, and chided for my thriftiness.

Perhaps due to our current economic crisis, parsimony will gradually attain the respect it had for much of the 20th century, until a culture of conspicuous consumption and buying on credit took over. For frugality should be considered a characteristic of all intelligent people, whether their last name is Stein or Stone. . Keep reading...

Shorts as Indicator of Nationality

Despite the globalization of popular culture, from music and film to cuisine and fashion, most nations have retained surprisingly distinct dressing styles. Of course not all citizens of a given country adhere to the prevailing trends of their home; but when viewed in groups, they will exhibit striking uniformity overall.

One particular example of this is the length of shorts worn by the males in a given culture. Certain lengths of shorts are seen as standard in some, but viewed as only suitable for homosexual men in others. As an example, I have put together a handy diagram for using shorts length to determine nationality for Russia, the U.S., Australia, and Germany. Keep reading...

Linguistic Blessings and Duties

It used to make me feel bad that, when traveling, I can count on the people I encounter to speak English, and generally have no need to learn their language. This expectation seemed unfair at best and imperialist at worst. It was conducive to linguistic laziness, as well as a failure to immerse myself in the culture I had come to observe and experience. It just seemed wrong to come to someone’s country and expect them to speak your language.

Lately, however, I’ve been seeing things differently. Ever since the fall of the Tower of Babel, the world has needed a common language to facilitate interlingual communication. Phoenecian was the first lingua franca, followed by Greek, Latin, French, and, for most of the past two centuries, English.

As a native speaker of this versatile language, I should view my ability to communicate virtually anywhere as a privilege, not a crutch or an embarrassment. This, however, in no way excuses me from learning, at the very least, a few words and phrases in the language of the people with whom I’m speaking. Such a token effort is quickly rewarded with appreciative smiles and more amicable relations with the locals. Furthermore, and it hardly needs mentioning, the deeper one delves into a given language, the better one will come to understand the culture it represents.

Those of us fortunate enough to speak fluent, native English should be encouraged to use this gift for the benefit of our extra-lingual friends—by teaching new immigrants or going abroad to teach others—and consider it a motivation, not a deterrent, to learn additional languages ourselves. Keep reading...

The Facebook Friendship

It’s not news that Facebook has transformed the way we think of friendship. Essentially, it allows tenuous relationships to be revived, and survive once lethal obstacles to keeping in touch, such as moving away after high school or college. During the four years I have been on Facebook, numerous correspondences have sprung up with people I would otherwise have not been in touch with once our lives diverged. Geographical distance once made keeping up so-called “weak-tie” relationships quite difficult, as people generally did not take the time to call or write letters. People become busy with new relationships as they move through life, and the weaker ones of their past fall to the wayside.

Facebook, however, has made contacting old acquaintances easy—perhaps too easy. People (myself absolutely included) are notoriously bad at responding promptly to Facebook messages. Although they have largely taken the place of email for friend-to-friend communication, they still do not have the urgency that email can have. It seems people strike up conversations on a whim, and may not be ready when a short “What’s up” turns into a lengthy e-epistle.

My inbox is filled with conversations that started off strong, with myself and the other person trading messages regularly for days or even weeks, but which gradually dwindled away into nothing. One person fails to respond (likely forgetting, since many of us are deluged with countless messages each week), and the other person never follows up. I have experienced this with dozens of different people, but I don’t think either person is really to blame. Most of us do not have the time in our lives to devote to more than a handful of personal correspondences.

For some, this is where blogging comes in; it allows us to keep a mass audience informed of our activities, but saves the time of telling each person separately. Unfortunately, blogging is inherently not as personal as a message, so there is even less pressure for the intended audience to read it.

In the end, if everyone is on the same page regarding this issue, it doesn't really matter. True friendships will flourish, while ephemeral ones will fade away. Keep reading...