Linguistic Blessings and Duties

It used to make me feel bad that, when traveling, I can count on the people I encounter to speak English, and generally have no need to learn their language. This expectation seemed unfair at best and imperialist at worst. It was conducive to linguistic laziness, as well as a failure to immerse myself in the culture I had come to observe and experience. It just seemed wrong to come to someone’s country and expect them to speak your language.

Lately, however, I’ve been seeing things differently. Ever since the fall of the Tower of Babel, the world has needed a common language to facilitate interlingual communication. Phoenecian was the first lingua franca, followed by Greek, Latin, French, and, for most of the past two centuries, English.

As a native speaker of this versatile language, I should view my ability to communicate virtually anywhere as a privilege, not a crutch or an embarrassment. This, however, in no way excuses me from learning, at the very least, a few words and phrases in the language of the people with whom I’m speaking. Such a token effort is quickly rewarded with appreciative smiles and more amicable relations with the locals. Furthermore, and it hardly needs mentioning, the deeper one delves into a given language, the better one will come to understand the culture it represents.

Those of us fortunate enough to speak fluent, native English should be encouraged to use this gift for the benefit of our extra-lingual friends—by teaching new immigrants or going abroad to teach others—and consider it a motivation, not a deterrent, to learn additional languages ourselves. Keep reading...

Sitting by the pier on the island of Syros

Several boats have just docked at the pier. Not a sailor, I am captivated by this process. Though I have certainly seen it before, I’ve never given my full attention to studying the series of steps that are necessary for a successful put-in. The wind and the waves are both calm. Flags with various allegiances flutter from the masts of the moored boats. The sound of Greek chatter is interrupted now and then by a moped roaring by. A new boat approaches, as the passengers of the others leisurely survey the harbor and discuss how to spend the evening. Next to me, a French woman and an American man enjoy cheese and olives while sipping ouzo from elegant glasses.The ouzo turns from clear to white when they mix it with water. I was unaware of this, and surely would have consumed it the wrong way if I ordered it. Night begins to fall.

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Boo on Qdoba

Next week is my birthday, and I've been getting a few emails this week with special birthday offers from various companies. Delta's offering me double Skymiles, Houlihan's gave me a free entree, and so did Qdoba. Except not really. The Qdoba offer is actually a buy one get one free coupon, which really isn't anything all that special. I mean, seriously, how can they send someone a birthday present saying, "Hey, you can have a free burrito, as long as you buy another burrito!" Do they expect me to eat two 1000 calorie burritos? Or maybe they're suggesting I buy someone else a burrito on my birthday, and I get one free. This email only makes sense if sent to a friend or family member of mine, so they can take me out. To send it to me is absolutely silly, and makes me not want to go there at all. Keep reading...

Really cool: UNIQLO Mixer

UNIQLO has released another hypnotic application to follow up its Cannes Lion-winning UNIQLOCK. Now you can mash up prerecorded sounds and video to make a cool beat. Keep reading...

Golden Moon Hotel & Casino Sucks

Several weeks ago I heard a radio spot for a place called Golden Moon Hotel & Casino. It consisted of a conversation between two men discussing their plans to visit said casino, using expressions that reeked of douchebagginess (sample line of dialog: “Blonde, brunette, it doesn’t matter!”). Their conversation made me, as a copywriter, a man, and a human being, want to drive my car into a wall. They sounded like parodies of douchebags, only they were completely serious. The phrase that made me wince most, however, was “You know,” said by both characters with different intonation. It seemed like the copywriters were desperately trying to hint at debauchery, but couldn’t figure out some creative way to do so. Little did I know these two empty words were the crux of Golden Moon’s advertising strategy.

Last week the casino rolled out print ads and billboards featuring the abominable phrase, along with a picture of a semi-attractive woman emerging from a swimming pool. Beneath the photo, the despised words. WHAT DO THEY MEAN? What am I alleged to know? Because I most certainly DO NOT KNOW.

The second ad is equally awful, but for altogether different reasons. The headline makes no sense, unless you understand the pun on “moon.” It is also set lazily in all caps with a pointless drop shadow. The body copy is full of empty words and clichéd phrases. Then there’s the mammoth (boring) logo. Complete ad fail.

Golden Moon Hotel & Casino, I’m sorry, but I hate you. Keep reading...